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Friday, August 16, 2019

Positive Self Image(PSI) Belief – Your Success Will be Built

PSI Belief – The Rock Upon Which Your Success Will be Built by Stuart Goldsmith

Stuart Goldsmith
Stuart Goldsmith
PSI (pronounced "sigh"), means Positive Self Image. We should all have a Positive Self Image if we are to be happy, successful, loving and complete human beings. Unfortunately, few of us have a very strong PSI, and a lot of us have a pronounced Negative Self Image (NSI).
In the previous chapter I told you how lack of PSI-belief WILL prevent you from achieving the things you want in life. How much it will prevent you, depends entirely upon the depth of your Negative Self Image.
There is a very simple relationship between your PSI and your achievement potential: The STRONGER your PSI, the MORE you will achieve.
The converse is also true: The STRONGER your NSI, the LESS you will achieve.
Remember that this is INDEPENDENT of your abilities, and independent of 'luck', although these two are frequently blamed for the failure which always accompanies a Negative Self Image.
I also told you that PSI cannot be improved by rational argument, this is because the subconscious mind does not understand argument, and PSI is buried deep in the subconscious.
Therefore I will not devote this chapter to telling you what a really wonderful human being you are and how you deserve all the things you really want in life. Although this is true, it will not have much of an effect on your Negative Self Image.
Instead I want to explain a little bit about how people get Negative Self Images in the first place; then I'll tell you how to dramatically improve your PSI to the point where you can unlock the doorway to success.
Where Does NSI Come From?
All people are dealt a full hand of PSI at birth.
Deep in the womb, the baby feels warm, relaxed and loved. It has no inkling of the potential dangers which lie outside. If it could enter into a discussion with you, it would probably say that it felt valued and wanted; in other words, it would have a high PSI-level. (Arguments about pre- birth traumas aside for the moment.)
After birth, the baby enters the 'stage of life' upon which will be enacted an important drama. All good drama has conflict as an underlying theme; and in this case the conflict is between the forces which increase the child's PSI level, and those which decrease it.
You entered onto this stage the moment you were born, and since that moment, you have been subjected to some forces which made you feel good (increased your PSI), and some forces which made you feel bad (decreased your PSI or increased your NSI).
These forces we will call "strokes". (A term used by Dr Eric Berne.)
The present level of your PSI-belief is a direct result of these conflicting strokes throughout your past life.
If you have a high PSI, then you received more (or better quality) positive strokes than negative.
If you have a low PSI, then you received more (or stronger) negative strokes than positive.
I will now tell you something which is very important:
These strokes have far more effect upon your PSI when you are younger than when you are older. (By 'older' I mean over about twelve!) Remember also that strokes are stored away subconsciously, so you don't have much access to them via your conscious mind.
Positive and negative strokes started to accumulate when you were born (some would argue before). As a baby you immediately started to store away feelings about your own self-worth (PSI- belief), depending upon how your parents handled you and spoke to you. If they spoke softly and were kind, loving and gentle, then your PSI started to increase. On the other hand, if they were rough and unkind, your PSI started to decrease.
In the real world, most babies are neither loved absolutely, or continually brutalised, so you probably received a mixture of positive and negative strokes. Hopefully you received far more positive than negative, but if it was the other way round, then you were off to a bad start with a pronounced NSI.
The process did not stop there. As you grew up into a toddler and learnt to speak, you started to be bombarded with messages intended to alter your PSI one way or another.
Wait a minute! Surely the PSI is not affected by messages like these?
That's right! It is not really affected by the CONTENT of the message (although the I-CAN is!), but it IS affected by the EMOTIONAL TONE of the message. Put simply, the WORDS are not important, it is the WAY THEY ARE SAID which affects the PSI.
For example, you could say really softly, gently and lovingly to a one-year-old: "I wish you would go and boil your head, I can't stand the sight of you!" The chances are that the child would smile sweetly back at you.
Alternatively, you could yell loudly and angrily at the same child: "I think a banana is a yellow skinned fruit!" and no doubt it would burst into tears and become very upset.
The CONTENT was unimportant, it was the EMOTIONAL TONE which had the effect.
I will now tell you something surprising: Even when you are old enough to understand language it is STILL the emotional tone of the message which affects your PSI-level and not the content.
(The CONTENT affects your I-CAN level but we will be discussing that in the next chapter.)
Let me give you some examples:
Danny is four years old and very pleased with the model boat he has just made. He toddles up to Daddy and proudly displays his handiwork.
Daddy says in a flat monotone without looking up from his paper: "That's really very good Danny, well done." Danny feels dejected and toddles off to play by himself.
Although the CONTENT was correct, the EMOTIONAL TONE did not support it! The EMOTIONAL TONE effectively said: "I don't care about you, I'm far more interested in my newspaper." And this was the message received and filed away in Danny's subconscious.
Score minus-one for Danny's PSI-belief!
How about this though? :- Danny toddles up with his model boat and shows it to Dad. Dad puts down the paper, takes the boat, admires it, smiles broadly at Danny then gives him a great big hug. ALL WITHOUT SAYING A WORD!
Danny goes away glowing with pride, even though the verbal CONTENT of the exchange was zero!
Score plus-one for Danny's PSI-belief!
The messages received between birth and about five years old play a major part in determining your present level of PSI-belief. I would estimate that these messages formulated over half of your PSI belief, and that the remainder came as a result of all the years since!
If at least half of your PSI-belief was formed before you were five, is it any wonder that you cannot access it via your conscious mind? It is there nevertheless and it controls your life as effectively as a puppet-master controls a puppet.
School Days
When you went to school you opened yourself up to an absolute barrage of messages, a great many of which affected your PSI-belief.
Even here though, the CONTENT did not really affect your PSI-belief, but the EMOTIONAL TONE certainly did.
Supposing your mathematics mistress took you to one side and said to you very kindly: "Although you have a lively and inquiring mind, and despite the fact that you have tried really hard this year, I feel that maths is probably not the subject for you. However, your many other abilities outweigh this and I have suggested to the headmistress that you be allowed to join the fourth year Latin class."
The CONTENT of this message is a bit of a downer. She is effectively saying that you are useless at maths, AND THIS WILL BE NOTED WELL BY THE I-CAN. However, she has not really affected your feeling of self-worth because her EMOTIONAL TONE suggested that she liked you, and that you were a really worthwhile person.
Contrast this with the same treatment your friend receives at the hand of the dreaded Mr Masters: "Pay attention Jones, you disgusting, snivelling little creep! Just because you're top of the class and get every answer right, doesn't give a smart-ass like you permission to dream your worthless life away staring through the window!"
A little extreme perhaps, but the CONTENT was effectively telling Jones that he was really good at maths! (AND THIS WILL BE NOTED BY HIS I-CAN), however, how do you think the message affected his PSI? BADLY! His PSI-belief only heard the EMOTIONAL TONE of the exchange, which effectively told Jones that he was not a worthwhile person, and that the master despised and loathed him.
His PSI-belief will be greatly reduced if exposed to too much of this type of treatment - particularly if it is being re-enforced in his home life.
Out of School
As we grow up and mature, we become somewhat less sensitive to direct assaults on our PSI-belief. (As I said earlier, a large part of your PSI-belief is formed before the age of five.)
For example, if you were involved in a car accident and an offended party started waving his fists and saying things like:
"Your sort shouldn't be allowed on the road", it is unlikely that you would allow this to affect your PSI- level. You would (hopefully) be mature enough to make allowances for circumstances.
However, a great deal of PSI-damage can be done by a process called 'discounting'. Put simply, anything which discounts you as a human being is likely to decrease your PSI-level. Two trivial examples will suffice - I'm sure we have all experienced these, or something like them:
You are waiting to get served at a crowded bar. Your turn comes and goes, but no matter what you do the barman seems to ignore you, (although he serves several people on either side of you).
You feel discounted and worthless because the implied message is: "All these people are more important than you, you're worthless."
Or: You are waiting in a queue, (a peculiarly British pastime), when someone pushes in front of you. Again you feel very upset; not because you have to wait a little longer but because you received the message: "You're so worthless I'm not even going to acknowledge your presence."
Too many of these situations without the compensating positive strokes can cause a gradual decrease in an otherwise mature person's PSI-level.
It is very important that you understand that PSI is a dynamic, changing thing and is affected by daily positive and negative strokes. EVEN THE MOST RUGGED PSI WOULD CRUMBLE IF DEPRIVED OF POSITIVE STROKES FOR TOO LONG.
No person is an island unto themselves. For example, if someone with a really high PSI were to find themselves in solitary confinement, say in a prison camp where they were being continually brutalised, and without access to positive strokes (e.g. other prisoners), it would be an alarmingly short time before their PSI level was reduced to nothing. This extreme example should serve as a reminder to us that we have to continually maintain our PSI-belief.
Later in the book I'll be giving you methods for improving and maintaining your PSI-level on a daily basis.
I was very excited when I first realised that PSI-belief was VITAL to achieving success, because up until that point I had blamed external forces for my lack of achievement. Of course these external forces (lack of money, bad luck) being external were OUT OF MY CONTROL. If they were out of my control I couldn't do anything about improving my situation could I? I wasn't to blame! I could happily carry on moaning about my bad fortune, complaining about my lack of abilities, talents or money and starting every other sentence with "If only....". After all, what could I do about it?
When I realised that PSI-belief was the real controlling factor, and that all the other things which I had blamed were MINOR by comparison to this, it was as though I had suddenly woken up. The shock of realisation was quite a powerful and liberating experience. It is my sincere hope that through this book, you will come to have this experience yourself.
I was still puzzled by one thing though. WHY does your subconscious mind prevent you from achieving all the good things which you deserve? It seemed to me to be plainly stupid that a part of your mind could plot against you to stop you from being happy! I could understand it if it were the other way round, for example if the subconscious mind prevented you from smoking, drinking or taking drugs because it knew that these things would harm you! But the very reverse is true. Most of us do some or all of these things KNOWING that they WILL harm us!
The Pay-off
The mind does not do things without a reason. There has to be a 'pay-off' for all behaviour, EVEN NEGATIVE BEHAVIOUR.
The 'pay-off' for positive behaviour was obvious to me. We indulge ourselves in good food and drink and we wear nice clothes, because these things feel good and have very few negative effects.
I could also understand the 'pay-off' for physically harmful things like smoking. Obviously the instant pleasure was a stronger influence than the spectre of some possible future health problem.
What I could not understand, for a long time, was WHY the subconscious should seek to prevent you from achieving something good which had no (obvious) negative effects. Why should your lack of PSI make you act in a way which was guaranteed to make you fail, hence make you feel more miserable and worthless and thereby RE-ENFORCE your NSI? It seemed like a vicious circle with no obvious reason or 'pay- off'.
I pondered over this for a long time without coming to a firm conclusion. It seemed to me to be an essential flaw in the argument, an irritating 'missing link'.
A behavioural psychologist could easily have answered my question for me, but at the time I didn't realise this. I had to read several psychology books before I found the answer.
The answer I found in those books may surprise you; it certainly amazed me!
Put very simply, I believe the answer to be this: The subconscious mind doesn't really care a fig for 'happiness' as such. Happiness is an extremely abstract concept anyway.
A Zen monk is exceedingly happy sitting for long hours every day meditating, whereas you or I might be extremely unhappy doing this.
I might be happy running a large company, whereas this same situation could cause another person extreme distress.
You might be happy painting pictures all day long, but I might find the same thing tedious in the extreme.
I might think that I would be happy with a million pounds, but find that I was unhappy when I actually got it.
The subconscious mind COULDN'T CARE LESS about your goals, ambitions and dreams. It is REALLY NOT INTERESTED in your plans to become a millionaire or your ambitions to run your own chain of designer clothes shops. All these things are as illusory to the subconscious mind as your dreams are to your conscious mind!
The subconscious mind views the conscious mind as a whirlpool of thoughts, ambitions, hopes, half-formed ideas and sensory data and DOESN'T PAY MUCH ATTENTION to the detail - it finds it confusing.
Similarly, the conscious mind views the subconscious mind as a whirlpool of images, feelings emotions and dreams.
I was now on the trail of something big. If the subconscious mind doesn't give a damn about your 'success' or 'lack of success', (two extremely difficult concepts for the subconscious mind to grasp anyway), what does it care about?
Physical World View
The answer is SURVIVAL. Or, more accurately, MAINTENANCE OF A COHERENT WORLD VIEW. That's a bit of a mouthful, but what it really means is that the subconscious is DESPERATELY trying to make sense of the external world and your place in it.
Furthermore, IT DOESN'T LIKE CHANGING ITS BELIEF IN THE WAY THE WORLD IS! No sir, not one little bit! It doesn't mind making the odd little adjustment to the picture; a little tweak here and there to keep the picture in line with the facts, but it HATES making any major changes.
Why is this?
Because the WORLD VIEW, which you painstakingly pieced together in your very early years, is an essential survival tool. Without a consistent World View you are doomed.
Your World View tells you that a floor in a room is likely to support you as you walk across it. It tells you that most people are friendly and are unlikely to suddenly attack you unprovoked.
It tells you that rain will not kill you but that electricity might. It tells you that you can drink water but not bleach.
If you had to work these things out for yourself every time you encountered them, you could not possibly survive. It's hard enough surviving your first electric shock or brush with fire!
The Mental Jigsaw
There are thousands upon thousands of pieces to this jigsaw puzzle which the subconscious mind painstakingly put together, through bitter and painful experience, to comprise a picture of the world and how you fit into it. It was hard-won!
Because this picture is so hard-won and required real EFFORT to construct, the subconscious mind is VERY RELUCTANT to change large, firmly established pieces of the main puzzle.
Unlike real jigsaw puzzles, the WORLD VIEW picture is growing all the time as you find out new things about the world around you, but at your age, these are changes to the periphery of the puzzle and are quite minor; they do not affect the main body of the picture.
For example, you might watch a T.V. documentary on fashion trends in the young and thereby expand your World View to include the possibility that short skirts were back in fashion. But if another T.V. documentary told you that the moon was made of cheese, you would strongly suspect a spoof!
The first example involved a change only to the periphery of your World View jigsaw, so you were willing to accept it, but the second example threatened a change to some of your central pieces, so your subconscious mind rejected it.
But the moon really could be made of cheese for all you know! You've never been there or touched it, so how do you know? Obviously the facts don't matter so much to the subconscious, it is belief which holds those central pieces of the puzzle firmly in place.
This is why people who hold deep-seated irrational beliefs like racial prejudices, do not require the inconvenience of facts to back them up; belief is quite enough.
Changing the Puzzle
What happens if you try to change one of the main pieces of the puzzle?
The answer is that the subconscious mind will respond strongly with FEAR and RESISTANCE to the change. It will ask the conscious mind to examine the data again and again to see if the change is real, or whether it can be squeezed into the existing World View.
It will effectively ask: "ARE YOU REALLY SURE ABOUT THIS???"
If the change is a really big one then a mental breakdown could result, such is the strength of the subconscious resistance to changes in the main body of the picture!
For example: Supposing you walked into a room and saw a man suddenly rise up from the floor and hover, suspended in mid-air, six inches from the ceiling. This event would seriously undermine a major piece of your World View puzzle. (The piece which says that people cannot defy gravity without artificial means.)
Your first response would be SHOCK. Shock at such a basic piece of the jigsaw being violated. The conscious mind would attempt to change the World View of the subconscious mind by saying: "Look, a flying man!" The subconscious mind would respond with, "NO WAY!"
Such would be the reluctance of the subconscious mind to change the World View, that it would INSIST upon the conscious mind examining the facts very carefully again.
So you would dutifully examine every detail of the floating man. You would check carefully for ropes or wires, mirrors or other foul means of deception. Then you would pass this summarised data back to the subconscious mind; effectively saying, "Sorry, but it really is a floating man!"
The subconscious mind would STILL REFUSE TO ACCEPT THIS, and certainly would NOT start to alter the basic World View. It would suggest that the conscious mind look yet again! It must be a joke, surely? Or a trick; yes, someone was playing a trick! It wasn't a real man up there, probably a hydrogen-filled balloon in the shape of a man.
In short, the subconscious would try ANYTHING, no matter how wild, to convince itself that what was being experienced could be fitted into the EXISTING World View. It would FIGHT and SCREAM and KICK against making any alterations to that World View.
If, despite everything, the conscious mind could find no trickery, deception or illusion; would the subconscious then grudgingly accept that men could, under certain circumstances, float up to the ceiling? NO WAY! NOT A CHANCE! Instead, you would run out of the room screaming with terror! Anything rather than change such a basically- held belief.
Later on, you would go over the incident and think up some logical explanation for the event; something you had missed at the time, some reasonable method which would account for what you had seen. It was probably a publicity stunt; the man MUST have been supported somehow, after all, it was no different to those conjurors on the television, they were always doing things like that weren't they?
When your subconscious mind had seized upon an explanation, no matter how bizarre, it would breathe a BIG SIGH OF RELIEF at not having to change the World View! Everything would be back to normal, it could relax.
The Mystery Horse
Here is something which happened to me recently: One night I walked into my bedroom without bothering to switch on the light. I nearly died with fright! There, lurking in the corner, was the shadow of a horse!
My World View was being hit hard! How could a horse be in my bedroom? It wasn't possible! My subconscious mind didn't believe it either, and asked me to look again. Closer examination revealed, not a horse but a crane. A crane? That was just as daft! The subconscious again refused to start tinkering with the jigsaw and asked me to check more carefully. I went through several other possibilities in my mind before I realised that it was the new bookshelf which I had installed that very day, casting a strange shadow on the wall.
All this happened in the space of less than one second!
This fascinating experience gave me great insight into how the subconscious mind works. It FEARS changes in the World View and it will desperately try to fit a known explanation onto the unknown event, in an attempt to make it CONSISTENT with its existing World View. It will try every combination of ideas to explain the unknown, until it comes up with one which fits. If, despite trying everything, it is still confronted with the unknown, then it will often PANIC and run a mile! This has great survival value.
Obviously the World View can, and does change. The subconscious is not set in concrete! However, pieces of the jigsaw which are considered inviolate require a great deal of effort to change. Other pieces of lesser importance require less effort to change.
Five Wheels on my Wagon
For example, most cars have four wheels. If you saw one which had five wheels you would look at it for some time and try to evaluate it. Eventually you would be prepared to consider the possibility that five wheeled cars do exist, but this change is unlikely to cause you major problems.
However, it is interesting to note that even such a minor change as this is likely to cause you to comment on it to friends and associates: "Hey, you'll never guess what I saw today....", because the subconscious mind is SEEKING RE- ASSURANCE on even this minor point. It wants other people to say: "Haven't you seen a five-wheeled car before? They're getting really common now!" Then it can RELAX and stop worrying about this irritating unknown event.
Let me tell you in four simple sentences how the subconscious mind operates in this instance:
IT BUILDS A CONSISTENT WORLD VIEW (Mainly in the early years)
IT ACCEPTS SMALL ALTERATIONS (But grudgingly)
IT FEARS AND REJECTS LARGE ALTERATIONS
IT TAKES INCREDIBLE EFFORT TO CHANGE LARGE PIECES OF THE JIGSAW
Obviously the subconscious mind is vastly more complex than this, and has been the subject of many books and a great deal of scholarly thought, but this simple explanation will suffice for our purposes.
I have told you a little about how the subconscious mind likes to build a physical picture of the world around it. This is essential if you are to survive. However, in addition to building a nice, cozy picture of the physical world around you, the subconscious mind also likes to build another picture which is equally as powerful.
This is the picture of WHO you are and HOW you fit into the society and environment around you. It it this facet of the World View which is important to our discussions.
Here is something very interesting:
The subconscious mind works in EXACTLY the same way when it comes to defending its views about WHO you are and WHAT you are, as it does to defending its picture of how the outside physical world should behave.
In other words, the subconscious will KICK HARD against any attempt to change your beliefs about who and what you are.
And the pay-off is............. SECURITY!
To the subconscious mind, SECURITY is everything. It will vigorously oppose any attempt on your part to change the World View, and it will do this DESPITE ANY EFFECT ON YOUR 'HAPPINESS'!!
As I said earlier, it couldn't care less about your happiness, but it DOES care about SECURITY - the security of a consistent World View.
This was the answer to the question which had been puzzling me for so long. Here was the secret of WHY a lack of PSI prevented you from achieving all of the things which you deserved.
The subconscious mind is SCARED of changing main pieces of your jigsaw just as it is of changing main pieces of your physical jigsaw. Once it has worked out where you fit into the social scale, IT IS MOST RELUCTANT TO MAKE A CHANGE IN THIS PICTURE.
Your earliest experiences affected your PSI-belief until your subconscious mind had built up a nice, solid picture of WHO you were, and HOW MUCH YOU WERE WORTH as an individual. During the first few years of your life, your Positive Self Image (or lack of it), became firmly established in the subconscious mind; it became, (along with many other things), one of the CENTRAL pieces of the jigsaw; remember this, not an OUTSIDE piece (where the jigsaw can grow), but a CENTRAL piece.
This social picture covers many topics, for example it defines:
Your 'Class'. How you feel about yourself. How you think others feel about you. How much you feel you are 'worth'. How lovable you are. How much you feel you deserve. And many, many more things.
All those positive and negative strokes received during your formative years, helped the subconscious to build a firm level of PSI-belief, which was then added to the rest of the social jigsaw to form a nice, cosy World View. Whilst the subconscious mind is happy to tinker around with the edges of this picture, it HATES to touch the main body of the picture because of the INSECURITY which this will bring.
That is why the methods which I will share with you are so powerful! When you alter your PSI-belief you swap some pretty large pieces of jigsaw puzzle. This will cause FEAR and INSECURITY in your subconscious and you must be prepared to deal with these whilst your PSI is being overhauled.
Believe me it is a small price to pay for the lasting happiness and success which my method will bring you.
A Place For Everyone
There is a saying that "Everyone likes to know their place." I have found this to be very true!
Some time ago I went to a party where I did not know many people.
I was apprehensive about this party because I had not been told much about it. For example, I did not know what type of party it would be (e.g. dinner or disco), what dress standards were expected of me, what time to arrive, what to bring, or really anything very much at all.
I guessed at the clothes I should wear, (something nice and safe to cover the maximum number of possibilities), took along a bottle of quite good wine (just good enough for dinner but not too good for a disco), and arrived at a fashionably safe eight o'clock.
I took this opportunity to examine how my subconscious mind was working - and I was really amazed! (You have to be very alert to catch your subconscious mind in operation because it acts very quickly.)
I walked into that room, (clutching my bottle of wine), and my subconscious mind was ALIVE and RACING in an effort to evaluate the social position as rapidly as possible. So DESPERATE was I to work out my social position in this strange group, that for a good ten seconds I just stood in the doorway, soaking up data.
My eyes raced around the room examining a cross-section of the people there; men first, then women. (Had I been a woman it would have been the other way round.) In under two seconds I had scanned twenty people and worked out an average standard of dress, compared it with my own, and filed away the difference.
(Not too significant, I was about right.)
My subconscious mind breathed a small sigh of relief!
Then my eyes flitted round the room and evaluated the whole 'scene' as one entity. Within less than a second I had evaluated the 'type of party', and compared it with the complete list of every other party I had ever been to in my life, before filing it away under the heading which fitted best -'Smart disco/buffet'.
Since I had been to many such parties, I also attached an anxiety level to this information - (low anxiety).
My subconscious mind breathed a slightly larger sigh of relief.
IT WAS STILL ONLY THREE SECONDS SINCE I HAD WALKED THROUGH THE DOOR!
I was a bit more relaxed by now, so I took a leisurely two seconds to examine the groupings of people. Since I was on my own, I was looking to see if people were mainly in couples, or if there were quite a few obviously single people.
I could relax again; there were quite a few single people.
After this, I took three seconds to evaluate the average CLASS of the people at the party. This incredible feat involved scanning about thirty people at random and making value-judgments about each one's clothes, hair, posture, face, voice and manner; then averaging the whole lot to arrive at an 'average class' of the party, (chosen from an internal subconscious scale of about 100 sub-classes). I compared this average with my own class (a deeply held PSI- belief), and worked out if I was higher or lower class than most of the people there.
The subconscious mind didn't really care if I was higher OR lower class so long as I was ABOUT THE SAME as most of the people there. What it feared was the UNKNOWN situation of spending an evening with people of a very different class.
I could relax! My subconscious mind was not being forced to re-evaluate its World View. My level of fear diminished and I walked into the room with confidence.
Total elapsed time? Under ten seconds!
In America, and other nearly classless societies, an identical process would be carried out, but with wealth as the criteria rather than class. In Britain, despite what anyone says, it is definitely CLASS which people evaluate first, THEN their comparative wealth.
Do you see how my subconscious mind was DESPERATE to know where it fitted in? It was REALLY SCARED about that party, until it had evaluated the data collected by the conscious mind and worked out exactly where the party fitted into its World View.
Had I walked into that room to find everyone dressed in funny blue uniforms and doing a dance which I had never seen before, I would have been REALLY ANXIOUS, almost to the point of turning and running! I would have spent the first few minutes FRANTICALLY trying to work out where I fitted into this party, and how I related to these people.
An Experiment
Parties are excellent places for realising the extent to which your subconscious needs to know where you fit in.
You can try this interesting experiment for yourself: Next time you are at a party and a stranger asks you what you do, try the following style of conversation:
Stranger: "What do you do?" (They mean for a living)
You: "Do? Well sometimes I play golf."
Stranger: "Oh! You're a golfer."
You: "No, I just play golf sometimes."
Stranger: "I see, but what do you really do?"
You: "I read quite a lot."
Stranger: "Do you work in a library?"
You: "No, but I like books."
Stranger: "Where do you work?"
You: "At home."
Stranger: "Oh, you're self employed! What do you do?"
You: "Well sometimes I play golf..."
Obviously this is not guaranteed to win you many friends, but the object of the experiment is to avoid giving the other person any concrete information about yourself for as long as possible.
Then watch them get more and more upset until they walk away!
Why do they get so upset? It is because their subconscious mind is struggling to 'classify' you, to get you neatly pigeon-holed away under the heading, 'Writer, lower-upper- middle class, fairly well off, unmarried, fanciable but not sexy,' or whatever label applies to you.
Until their subconscious mind can file you away in this manner, it cannot relax because its immediate World View is unknown. Their ANGER stems from FEAR.
So now you know something about PSI-belief! You know that it is ESSENTIAL to have a high level of PSI-belief before you can achieve all the things which you desire. I have told you that your level of PSI-belief is formed very early on in your life as a result of positive and negative strokes which you received.
You also know that this PSI-belief is a deeply held conviction on the part of your subconscious; it is a central piece of the main jigsaw puzzle which forms the picture of the world, and the subconscious is VERY RELUCTANT to change it.
In fact rather than change the level of PSI-belief, the subconscious will FORCE you to act in a manner which 'proves' that the currently held level of PSI-belief is correct.
How Does This Work?
Put simply; if your PSI-belief tells you that you are a failure and do not deserve to succeed, your subconscious will make you act in a way which is GUARANTEED to ensure failure, rather than change a piece of the main jigsaw picture. In this way it ensures stability and security.
Do you remember my business friend? Do you see now why he failed?
His subconscious KNEW that he did not deserve to succeed, a central piece of his jigsaw had the words "You're useless", written on them. Despite the best efforts of his conscious mind to change his circumstances, his subconscious was NOT WILLING to tinker around with basically-held beliefs. It was far more
interested in SECURITY and MAINTAINING ITS WORLD VIEW.
The result? The subconscious forced my friend to act in a way which would ensure failure, thereby PROVING the subconscious right! The subconscious could now relax again because its World View was not being threatened, leaving my poor friend's conscious mind to wonder what went wrong!
In the second section of the book, I'll be showing you how to BOOST your PSI-belief, thereby removing one of the main obstacles in the path of success. Once you have been freed from NSI, the SKY IS THE LIMIT! You can achieve ANYTHING which you want to.
You will no longer limit yourself to second best but instead, you will travel FIRST-CLASS through life. Why? Because you will know that you deserve it.

Extracted from the book 'The Midas Method' by Stuart Goldsmith
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