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Friday, August 9, 2019

Self-Confidence( A Psychologist answers your questions about:)


                           A Psychologist answers your questions about:

Q. What is self-confidence, or as psychologists call it, self-esteem?
A. Self-esteem is the way you feel about yourself based upon your perception of how effectively you deal with the world. It is how you evaluate you. People with a great deal of confidence feel good about themselves and think that they are able to accomplish most tasks that confront them.
Q. When does self-confidence start to develop?
A. Self-esteem has its roots in early experiences. It starts with parents helping the child to feel worthwhile and competent in mastering early childhood tasks. It then continues to be nourished through achieving competency in areas important to the person involved.  In the development of self-esteem, I think that the most important ingredients are loving and being loved. The developing child who feels loved and accepted can overcome life's greatest hurdles: physical handicaps, poverty, etc. Conversely, if a child feels unloved, nothing will make up for it; not even showering him/her with material goods. It is also very important that parents be certain that the child knows that she/he is loved.  Many times parents truly love their children but are not very good at conveying this message.
Q. What are the consequences of low self-confidence?
A. Self-confidence affects our entire life. In general, the rougher the going gets on the outside, the greater the need for self-worth on the inside.  Your ability to overcome obstacles is enhanced if you have high self-esteem.  You are who you think you are, no more, no less. That's why it pays to think great!
Q. Do most people have self-confidence?
A. Most people have confidence in some areas. The more areas the better.  People who are confident in many areas tend to be the happiest and are less prone to depression and anxiety.
Q. Can people improve their current level of self-worth?
A. Certainly. The best way to improve a poor image is to try something and follow through. After all, it is better to try something and fail than to be successful at not trying anything. The attempts you make give you practice in trying different approaches until you succeed.
Q. Is professional help available for low self-esteem?
A. Absolutely. Psychologists trained in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy are very well suited to assist in this area.
Q. What will occur when I visit my psychologist's office?
A. After giving your psychologist some background information, the two of you will decide if you are best suited for individual or group therapy. The most important thing is to get started. Many people find this the most difficult part.
Q. How do I know if my self-esteem is low?
A. Take the Self-Confidence quiz . If you answer yes to some of these questions, it is.

    Self-Confidence Quiz

  • Do you often feel unsure of yourself?
  • Do you many times feel sad or depressed?
  • Do you usually feel lonely?
  • Are you preoccupied with negative self thoughts?
  • Does it seem as though others enjoy life more so than you?
  • Do you feel uncomfortable in a variety of social situations?
  • Do you tend to feel anxious while attending social functions?
  • In general, are you misunderstood?
  • Do you usually keep quiet in groups even though you have something to say?
  • Do you often think that people think negatively of you?
  • Do you often avoid or not enjoy potentially good experiences?
  • Do you find it difficult to meet new people?
  • Are you self conscious?
  • Do you "put yourself down"?
If you answered yes to some of these questions you may have a problem with self-confidence.

You will find help in Dr. Perino's book:

I think I'm hopeless... but I could be wrong.
A guide to building Self-Confidence

Joseph Perino, Ph.D.

Chapter 1
•Does This Sound Like You? •Shyness •Sensitivity And Self-Consciousness •Loneliness, Depression Or Anxiety •Self-Defeating Thoughts •Relationships •Getting Started •Just What Is Self Confidence •Self-Confidence Is Not An Absolute •Cyclical Thinking •Risk Taking •How This Book Will Help You •How Long Will It Take? •Things To Remember
Chapter 2
•Describing Yourself To You And Others •Who Am I •Physical Attributes •Appearance •Social Interaction •Personality •Family Relationships •Well Adjusted •Vocational •Activities Of Daily Living •Thinking Ability •Sexuality •Self-Inventory •Things To Remember
Chapter 3
•Who Said You Had To Be Perfect? •Setting The Standard •Self-Fulfilling Prophecy •Helping Others To Draw Negative Conclusions •Avoiding Rejection •Behavioral Signs Of Low Self-Confidence •Thinking Patterns Of Low Self-Confidence •Physiological Aspects Of Low Self-Confidence •Things To Remember
Chapter 4
•Faulty Cognition •Self-Confidence Quiz •What About When Others Criticize Me •Words Are More Than Just Words •How Self-Esteem Begins •Distorted Self-Talk •Some Cognitive Distortions •Things To Remember
Chapter 5
•Thoughts And Vocabulary Of Inequality •Preview Questions •Personal Enemy Number •Personal Ally Number •Blame And More Blame •The World Of Should •Was I Born With This Enemy? •But Parents Have To Criticize Sometimes •Is A Person Bad Or Different? •Are Parents Effective Models? •Things To Remember
Chapter 6
•Why I Listen To My Personal Enemy •Everyone Wants To Be Loved •Is This Enemy Of Any Value? •Some Other Characteristics Of The Enemy •Listen To Your Self-Talk •Try This •Things To Remember
Chapter 7
•Things Your Parents Forgot To Tell You •Just Like Acting On A Stage •Rewriting The Script •Why Didn't My Parents Teach Me About Self-Confidence? •How Was I Raised? •Personal Power •My Score •Things To Remember
Chapter 8
•Constructive Visualization •If You Can't Imagine It, It Can't Happen •Rewrite Some Scripts •A Parent Script •Some Hints •Things To Remember
Chapter 9
•Rewriting The Script •Outline For Success •Getting Started In Social Situations •What If I Can't Find Anyone To Talk To? •Development Of Problem Solving Skills •Things To Remember
Chapter 10
•What Do I Do Now? •Self-Help Books •Cognitive Behavioral Therapy •Cognitive Restructuring •Some Important Questions •Things To Remember

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