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Thursday, August 15, 2019

The Secret of Happiness-how to be happy


                           The Secret of Happiness😄

“To allow Yourself to be Happy is the Greatest Wisdom There is.”
Since we have been discussing happiness in the last chapter, I thought I would just toss in the ultimate secret of happiness for you as a sort of free bonus! Yes, that holy grail that has eluded wise men throughout the ages, is yours, free in the closing pages of this book! You might prefer to apprehend that the key of happiness can be explained in just eight words and is, in fact, quite mundane. It does not involve meditation, drugs or self-flagellation.

Tomorrow, Today, Live For Better Working a Whilst
What? You can’t make sense of that? I gave you the words for free, but the right order is going to value you plenty...
Pause, whilst the anagram-freaks try to work it out for themselves....
Got it? No? Okay you’ll have to read on...
Now the price for my arranging the words for you is about ten minutes of your time to read this section carefully, because it has important implications for your happiness.
The first thing I want to say is that the human psyche - your psyche- is a very delicate thing indeed - and can be badly broken,particularly throughout your early years, by what would outwardly appear
to be ‘not very much.’Put in a different way, your mind is an incredibly delicate and subtle mechanism - a finely tuned and highly sensitive instrument. So delicate is this wondrous apparatus, that it is flat-out impossible to grow up without some damage to its mechanism. Moderate damage is normal and severe damage is common.Please read that last sentence again.
I would say that 100% of people - that’s everyone - has moderate damage to their psyche, and about one in three have severe damage. I am talking about damage caused by a normal upbringing, not an
abused upbringing. Thankfully abuse is not the norm, but more importantly, the psyche is damaged by numerous small incidents throughout your childhood where you didn’t get exactly what you needed, exactly when you needed it.Parents are, after all, people. They are neither omniscient nor
telepathic. they do their very best, working from the basis of their own damaged psyches.
And so the cycle continues...
Now the point here is that because everyone is damaged, this means that everyone exhibits symptoms of ‘mental disturbance’during, and often throughout, their lives. I’m talking 100% of people
here. Such symptoms include:
1. Anxiety.
2. Depression.
3. Sleeplessness.
4. Irrational fear/panic attacks.
5. Feelings of worthlessness, insecurity, pointlessness.
6. Suicidal thoughts.
7. Substance abuse (particularly alcohol which is a wonderful
anaesthetic for the harshness of life).
8. Irrational anger/impatience/irritation.
9. Worry.
Because everyone experiences some or all of these on a scale of mild to severe, everyone pretends that they don’t experience these things and {we|and that we} all play this ridiculous game within which we pretend it’s just other people who have problems, not us.I have talked to hundreds of people from paupers to billionaires.Scratch the surface and what do you get? The same old human-being we all are. The damaged psyche resulting in some or all of the negative symptoms I have listed.I find this immensely comforting. The real problem about feeling down on life is when you think it’s only you who feels like this, and that everyone else has a good time counting their loot. If you can really take on board what i'm telling you here, that everyone is a seething mass of insecurity, angst, loose end and emotional turmoil, then I think that helps a great deal.It’s called ‘the human condition’ and comes about as a result of us all having such an immensely delicate psychology. We are about as equipped psychologically to handle the ‘slings and arrows’ of life as a butterfly is to handle a force ten storm.Every human on the earth is brave on the far side live. Forget‘bravery in the face of enemy fire.’ That’s just one sort of bravery and anyway, most troopers didn’t have a choice about going over the top.I’m talking real bravery of the sort you show every morning. You get up and face the world again. You against the world. And it’s as much a battle today as it ever was. Labour-saving devices make very little difference. do you have lots and lots of leisure time as a result of you own a ‘fridge, a washing machine and a dishwasher? No? I thought not.It’s an equivalent old struggle by an equivalent old human beings.There is a danger in writing (and reading) a motivational, go-get-’em, kick-ass 'secrets of the millionaires' book as a result of it encourages the sort of polarisation I was talking about earlier. You can easily think something like: “Yeah, it’s as I suspected, everyone else is happy and making great money, it’s only me who cannot achieve anything of note. I’m all alone. Everyone else is so happy and well
adjusted...”
I’m telling you now, in as plain a way as I can say, that everyone on the earth is more or less screwed-up due to the method we are,and the way the world is. You just cannot avoid the damage.You have to simply accept it, patch up what you can and live with the rest.So what can you do to increase your chance of happiness?

Live Today
The first a part of the key to happiness is to live today.That means you need to try to live in the present moment,experiencing what is happening right now to you, good or bad.This is it. This is your life. This is not a dress-rehearsal. But the twist here is to set this in the context of everything I have just said. Recognise that angst and upset are part of the human condition,experienced by everyone. This is just what it is to be a human being.
We are all like this.
Why? Because from baby to adolescent we had thousands of desires,most of that were met, many of which were not. Each time a need was not met (particularly from early childhood) it caused psychological damage, sometimes mild, sometimes serious.The brain is highly adaptive and most damage can be routed around in order to allow the organism to continue functioning, albeitat a slightly reduced capacity. We develop coping strategies the most effective of which is just good old-fashioned, plain avoidance - we simply avoid the individuals and situations that cause the emotional pain and this stops us living life in all of its full color.When I say "live today" I’m not talking about some blissed-out,tree-hugging hippie who tries permanently to empty his mind in order to contact the ‘now.’ I’m talking about experiencing today with all of its upsets, angers, joys and sorrows. Just riding the wild bronco of life and not letting that sucker kick you off.And when, as I often do, you experience a moment of intense pleasure, I want you to think to yourself: “This is as good as it gets.”And it’s true. These moments are as good as it gets.Life is hard. Just as hard today, in its own way, as it ever was.Perhaps not as hard on us physically, but a lot harder on us mentally.That’s why we’re not a lot happier now than in 1400 - to pick a year at random.
So i would like you to snatch happiness when it comes to you, like a drowning man or woman seizing the proverbial straw. This is what it means to 'live today. '
The alternative is to ignore the minor day-to-day happiness and always be thinking some version of: “I’ll be happy tomorrow,when...” (I have money, I get a girlfriend, I move from this bad area, I get myself a new car...)
You won’t.
Or to think: “How can i possibly be happy now when...” - and then insert your own unique bit of current misery, angst, depression,anxiety, panic or fear. The error here is to think that one day you’ll be totally free of these things, and then you can be happy.You won’t. It’s how we all are - riddled with this stuff. It’s what makes us all human. It’s what it means to be human. I’d go so far as to say that a person without a smattering of these things would be a flat, lifeless and intensely boring automaton. It is the degree of your angst which is important.
Zero makes you dull as ditch water.
A sprinkling makes you human and still allows for a lot of happiness. A moderate level makes you interesting, quirky and able to cope mostly with life, but like a semi-active volcano, side-shoots of lava keep erupting and causing turmoil in your life - you need to spend some time fixing the damage, otherwise you may erupt one day.
A lot, and you are mostly immobilised in life and unable to function. Happiness is denied to you and all of your efforts ought to be expended in therapy to repair the worst of the damage, before you can
go on. You are constantly depressed, frightened and anxious.As an analogy, imagine a football team in immaculate, Persil-white strip, nancying around the field avoiding getting grass-stains on their clean white socks. They would be a bit of a disappointment, really.They don't want to get too involved in the game in case they get mud on their shorts or a bruise from that big, nasty old ball. Who wants to watch them? Who cares? They are not fully engaged with the game.A football team whose players are muddied, bruised and riled are an altogether more interesting spectacle. They’ll be fighting with passion and determination, taking daring risks, sometimes winning some ground, sometimes losing some ground, but always entirely absorbed in the game and playing right now in the present moment.But a team who are injured, demoralised, cold and wet need to do one thing - retire from the field, get some serious rest, bandage their cuts and recuperate. There is no point in their playing any longer. In fact, they can’t play. Their minds don't seem to be on the sport, but fully absorbed with their pain and humiliation.So, you see, the trick is to grab the happiness, now, in spite of any current misery from your worry list

A Brighter Future

The final a part of the key to happiness is: “Whilst working for a better tomorrow.” So the whole secret is:
“Live Today Whilst Working For A Better Tomorrow.”
Why not write this out on a 3” x 5” card and put it somewhere you will see it each day? It’s not a bad idea.First, you grab every single morsel of happiness that comes your way, despite your perfectly normal negative feelings that you now know are a part of the human condition and which everybody experiences.
Next, you must realise that everything you are today and everything you own today is a direct results of your past decisions.Decisions that you took, either consciously, or by default. Nobody else is to blame here. But once again I find this immensely comforting, as a result of the power is in your hands to change the future,you don't have to wait for someone else to change it for you.If your present life is a results of your past decisions, then the future is created by your present decisions, and boy is that true!
So you should be constantly working and scheming so that your future (which will come around soon enough) will be even better than your present. And you do this in spite of any angst and turmoil you might be feeling, just as you do it in spite of the fact that you have to breathe air and sleep seven hours each night.Now if you recognise yourself in the ‘moderate’ or ‘severe’category of emotional turmoil, then part of the process of planning for a better tomorrow involves working on yourself, perhaps through therapy, counselling or talking to trusted friends. By the way, you cannot do this alone or through introspection.Think of this as urgent repairs to the ship’s hull, without that the boat is in danger of going down. Only a fool would attempt to sail in such a boat without spending some time in dock to patch things up.Perhaps you’ve been in denial about the condition of this leaky old
tub? Have you been bailing like a demon for the last few years whilst battling on through stormy seas, just about keeping afloat? This is a judgement only you can make.
But apart from the psychological work, there remains the real down and dirty work required right now, today, to make your future better for you and your family. I guess this is what separates the winners from the losers. Winners know they have to work now in order to get ‘lucky’ several years down the line and reap the rewards.Losers want the rewards right now and cannot make the link between now and the future. They have what I have often described as a‘Bunteresque’ view of life (from Billy Bunter), hoping that something will turn up.
You can’t live like that and be successful. You have to live your life on purpose, not by random chance. I cannot stress enough the importance of working for a better tomorrow despite any strong
reasons why you feel you can’t, such as:

1. The terrible state of the world.
2. Your deep emotional scars.
3. Your age (you feel it’s too late).Work gives direction, meaning and engages the brain. Idleness rots
you from deep within.
I feel this is one of the most important issues and one of the hardest for me to write about. I guess the reason you bought this book is as a result of I’m just a few steps ahead of you on the path to wealth,happiness and freedom, and through my writings, I pass along my views of the scenery, what you can expect and how to negotiate the obstacles you are about to meet.The final thing in Pandora’s box was... hope. And when you are working for a better tomorrow.

Conclusion
Immense wealth is within your grasp - but it won't be a simple ride.Millions of individuals are wealthy and although it is not an easy thing to get rich it is far from impossible.Many chatter that they want to be wealthy, but few people have researched the factors required to achieve this. There are, indeed,several 'secrets' known to those who have fought their own way to the top of the mountain. If you have some aptitude and are willing to listen, you can learn these secrets for yourself and follow those 'lucky'ones to the dizzy heights.
The first thing you need to have is a firm belief that being wealthy is okay. If you harbour any socialist leanings, then these will eventually sabotage your wealth-creating efforts, ensuring that you remain poor.You must have a dream to act as a guiding beacon to lure you on when the going gets tough and the way ahead is dark. You cannot get rich by randomly selecting a field of endeavour for which you have no aptitude and even less interest. This is a ten or twenty year project;it cannot and must not be a ten or twenty year prison sentence. So you must do whatever it takes to unlock your secret dreams and passions. Hopefully others will share your passion and you can engage in commerce with them and make your fortune whilst having the time of your life.
One very little trick used by all highly successful individuals is to have a battle-plan, sometimes called an action list or goal list. Life dreams are usually massive and unwieldy and so the wise person knows how to break up these dreams into bite-sized chunks of an acceptable size for our limited minds. Winners set goals, losers never set goals. It's that simple. Despite reading this recommendation fifty or a hundred times, still some people will not write down their goals.
Having written your goals and broken the massive tasks down into simpler steps, now you require discipline to keep you on track,working through the list. Winners have this discipline. Losers wander aimlessly, become bored or distracted, have low frustration tolerance,give up easily and drift away. If I had to choose one single secret as the most important, it would be to cultivate a sense of discipline because from this, many other things follow.When setting your goals, make sure you keep firmly in mind that everything you obtain in this world has a price tag connected. You must be willing to pay the price, otherwise you are only window shopping and this means you are not serious about life, just browsing.Until this point, mostly this is theory. Now it is time for action.Above all, successful individuals are men and women of action. They get their sleeves rolled up and get on with the task at hand.Unsuccessful people procrastinate and always want to do it'tomorrow.' Of course, tomorrow never comes. The two main reasons for non-action are laziness and fear. The fear is usually fear of success or fear of change. We are all lazy, we all fear change. Winners are able to push through these negatives. Losers succumb to them. Before you start out on this journey, you need to have a clear idea about how much is enough, otherwise you have no destination and your search becomes an endless quest. If you are not clear about your destination, how can you ever know when you have arrived?Also, making money, no matter how enjoyable, has a price tag associated with it. Ideally you want to minimise the time you spend doing this and so you must have a clear idea of how much you want.There is no point any in amassing riches, never enjoying the fruits of your labours, and dying a wealthy man or woman. Money is an enabling force, not an end in itself.
Finally, the journey is everything as there's only one, macabre destination which we all share. The last stop on the line is Grim Reaper Halt. Life is a process, not a product. So no matter what your current level of wealth, it is time for you to start mastering one of life's most difficult lessons which is to be happy right here, right
now whilst working towards a better tomorrow.
This book has been an attempt to get you to decide which of two paths in life you want to follow, and then for you actively to choose that path and live with your decision. One path is hard and stony. It rises steeply above of} you towards a distant mountain top. There is no guarantee of happiness on that mountain, but something calls you to it.
The second path is not so steep. It meanders through the valley,taking in some interesting scenery on the way. It leads nowhere inparticular, but the journey is an interesting and pleasant one.
There is no right or wrong path. Legend has it that both paths eventually converge in a mysterious dark valley from which no traveler has ever returned...but that's just a legend.
Choose your path wisely. But do choose, do not drift.
I wish you the best possible in your journey.

buy for details of Seven Secrets of the Millionaires

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